Don’t let resentment get the better of you during Covid-19
Lately, people have a sour, anxious temperament in light of coronavirus, racial/ethnic injustices, natural disasters, invasive species, and border disputes, just to name a few issues. Indeed, the top of the fold of your newspapers is congested by very grave concerns, and people are naturally worried and combative. But this stress has seeped into too many other aspects of life.
Public figures are getting “cancelled” once again as people bring up disturbing actions from the past. Often they are actions that have already been apologized and accounted for. Still, even though that initial apology was met very warmly and accepted by the majority, in this bizarre limbo stage of society, the apology is brushed aside, and audiences are eager to shun these entertainers and professionals. I understand how this occurs, but I don’t think this is healthy at all.
This has even happened in my social circles. I had overlooked the desires and comforts of a friend. He did indirectly suggest I change, but me being on the Spectrum, I didn’t register it until retrospect. His frustrations accumulated until there was no choice but to ask me outright, which, although was harsh, I appreciated very much. We quickly forgave each other and moved on. But as of more than a month ago, he brought up these same issues, which surprised me. I apologized again, but this was brushed aside, and I was further insulted. I kept typing even though it was clear he no longer wished to engage in this conversation, thinking my words would save me, but instead I was blocked, which devastates me. I truly wish to reengage in this friendship again (and I think this feeling is mutual), but I don’t have the energy or strategy to do so just yet.
Even when we’ve forgiven someone, there are still remnants of their sins that haunt us. It’s normal, but it’s unfair to denounce apologies and changed actions. You have every right to be upset with someone. You even have the right to explain to a third party why this second party is upsetting you. You do not have the right to tell this third party how to react to the second party’s shortcomings and urge them to have exactly the same feelings about this perpetrator as you do. Stripping this perpetrator of their accolades and duties is a guideline, not a rule. While all sins are equal in the eyes of God, we still must consider the passage of time and circumstances.
“[W]hen ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any; that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Mark 11:25–26, KJV Bible, copyright 2017 Green World Classics
More on cancellation:
